M(3), 3/13/2017: How Much Does It Really Matter?

easy-does-it-new-level

I’m sitting here debating whether or not to even continue typing.  Yes, I did just return from my Monday morning meeting, and yes, people had great stuff to share, but I’m not sure I’m in a calm enough headspace to transmit the messages I received.

I mentioned last week that a lot of stuff is going on, and that stuff continues.  I’m in the midst of three separate kid issues, which is strange since I only have two children!  I am still recuperating from a fractured heel that I thought would be long over by now, and I’m hoping against hope a car repair is done before we are hit by the Blizzard of 2017.

I should really stop typing now.

No, I really shouldn’t.  Maybe if I repeat all the great stuff I heard this morning, it will seep into my scattered brain.

The reading on which we reflected on this morning is entitled “Easy Does It,” something I picked haphazardly as I was late this morning.  Turns out to be a good pick, since my head is in the opposite space of being easy.  Here is a line I read out loud this morning:

If a strong inner core of peace, patience and contentment looks at all desirable to you, it can be had.  -Living Sober, page 46

I laughed as I read it, then of course had to explain myself in my share.  If I took the time and explained each of my various issues, they’re not anything out of the ordinary:  teenage mishaps, car trouble, slow-healing body parts.  But the theme that’s running through all of them is they require me stepping out of my comfort zone in some way, shape or form and confronting someone.  Any kind of assertive conversation (and in some cases I’ll go ahead and upgrade it to aggressive) makes me uncomfortable in the extreme.

And in virtually all of the issues where I am required to assert myself, I have very little hope of swaying the opposing party to my side.  Which of course leads to feelings of frustration before I even assert myself.

Some of the issues have been dragged out for ridiculous reasons, which leads to impatience.

So, to sum up:

Anxiety + Frustration + Impatience = Scattered and Lacking Peace

Here’s what I can say:  I know, even at the worst of my negative feelings, that sooner or later all will settle down.  Sooner or later each of these issues will resolve, and a whole new set will crop up.  I know this, and at times this knowledge can settle my nerves.

In the meantime, I talk about my feelings, and I get advice from those that have been there and done that.  From this morning’s reading, the greatest take-away I got was the importance of asking the question:

How much does this really matter?

If I ask that question for each of my various issues, often the answer is a fairly simple “not as much as I’m making it matter.”  Some of the kid issues my Devil’s Advocate can argue are important based on principle, or could potentially be stepping stones to bigger issues, but even in those cases, if I take a wide-angle view, these things are blips on the screen of life.

So if I find out I can’t pick up my car today, how much does it really matter?  I will likely pick it up the next drivable day after the snow storm.  In the case of my foot, if I’m in the boot a month longer than I thought I would be, in the span of my life how much does it really matter?  The kid issues… well, I suppose I can simply do my personal best, and leave the results up to God.  As much I wish I could, I have control over one person in this life, and it’s all I can do to control myself!

Here are some other great thoughts from this morning:

  • Everyone with children has issues with children.  It is the nature of the beast of parenting!
  • Sharing with people who understand helps, as does listening to people who have what you want.  If you are lacking peace, go talk to someone you feel has a good sense of peace about them.
  • Slowing down the process of anything helps to do it better, more thoroughly, and with less mistakes.
  • Taking time each morning in quiet reflection helps to make the entire day a calmer experience.
  • Remembering that for which you are grateful helps to alleviate the stressful parts of your life.
  • The theme of humility runs through this morning’s reading.  It is important to remember to keep our egos in check when trying to fix all the world’s problems.

For those of you who are getting hit with bad weather, I wish you safety and warmth.  For those of you in warm, sunny climates, I’m jealous!

Today’s Miracle:

The hope that I’m back next week with fabulous resolutions to all the issues I’m complaining about this week 🙂

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Posted on March 13, 2017, in Monday Meeting Miracles, Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. Stepping out of my comfort zone definitely robs me of peace. I’m robbing myself, strange. I really believe, as you say, that things will work out. It helps, sure, but it’s still uncomfortable. It helps to know I’m (generally) sane and strong enough to handle challenges and that my internal angst does little to move things along. It even helps to know some things get more comfortable with practice and others never seem to. That’s funny about reading that passage today. I instantly thought “but how??”

    Liked by 1 person

  2. We got the snow yesterday, here in Minneapolis!
    It wasn’t so bad, I think your snow will be more.
    The question was really good.
    Most of the time, my fears and anxieties do not matter in the big picture.
    xo
    Wendy

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m not loving my boot. I’m really hoping 4 weeks. How long have you been wearing yours?
    A lady at work told us about her son who was drunk driving, uninsured and smashed his car, injuring himself, not too badly, on his 25 birthday.
    Another woman said she didn’t want kids because they cause too much heartache.
    Although I understand her thought, I disagreed. Living a life of avoidance and fear isn’t really living.
    I know, I tried.
    Thinking of you!
    Anne

    Liked by 1 person

    • I just read the post where you have a boot at all, sorry I missed it. And now I have the answer I asked in your post. 4 weeks sounds incredibly short to me, though I’m sure incredibly long to you. My advice: follow instructions to the letter. My fear is my lack of compliance is what’s causing my delay in healing (even though the doctor says that’s not true).

      Living a life of avoidance isn’t really living is a wonderful mantra, and one I will be taking with me today. Thanks, Anne, wishing you peace in your boot 🙂

      Like

  4. Be jealous it was about 60F here today and I was eating my lunch al fresco in a London side street under blue sunny skies… Not often in the UK we can gloat over great weather – it’ll be grey and wet before the weekend no doubt. As they say if you don’t like the weather in Britain… wait an hour.

    Some good lessons and hope you feel less scattered soon

    Liked by 1 person

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