5, 113 Days


Fifteen years ago today, I was a young woman right in the middle of a long engagement to be married.  We had an almost two-year engagement in order to save money for the wedding and for our first home.  So on October 2, 1998, I was still 12 months away from my special day, but I received a surprise gift… a dozen red roses.  My fiance gave them to me to celebrate that it was 12 months until our big day.  On the second of every month after that, I received another dozen roses, but the number of red went down by one, and a white rose took its place.  So on November 2, 1998, 11 red, 1 white, on December 2nd, 10 red, 2 white, and so on.

October 2, 1999 was the day all the hard work, planning, scrimping and saving paid off… our wedding day.  It was as beautiful weather-wise as I’d hoped it would be.  I woke up in my childhood room, surrounded by the sisters who once shared that room with me, and the whole morning was spent with my family and seven (yikes!) bridesmaids, all primping and preening and running around like crazy women.  In the midst of all the chaos, a messenger arrived at the door, and a package was delivered… a dozen white roses, with this accompanying poem:

Whenever you reach a destination

You tend to ponder its realization

Not because you don’t believe

Rather you appreciate what you’ve achieved

You and I have gotten here

Through smiles and laughs and the occasional tear

After today we will be husband and wife

Our relationship will take on a whole new life

I can only imagine what’s in store

Because knowing you, it’ll taste like more

These past 1,345 days have been the best

With each day more enjoyable than the rest

My heart beats faster when I think of you

Especially when I think about saying “I do”

So as I told you 12 months ago

This is how the roses would go

When you saw no more red

It would be the day we wed

Can you imagine all the hearts fluttering in that house?

That is the kind of man I married 14 years ago today.  The rest of the wedding was as magical at the moment I received those flowers and that poem.  There was not a single hitch it that day.  Alright, maybe one tiny one, where I had forgotten to tell the man I was marrying that he was supposed to memorize our vows, so we did have to speak on the phone for a bit that morning to make sure we knew what the heck we were saying, but even that went off perfectly.  The reception was, hands down, the most fun reception I have ever attended.  Not one person sat down the whole night, because we were all too busy dancing.  The church, the food, the music, all as perfect as a bride could imagine.

When I think back to that young woman, and what she was looking for in life, all her dreams came true in that one day.  At that point in life, all I wanted was to start a family of my own, and my family started that day.

So what about the woman of today?  Like any married couple, we have been through many highs and lows in these past 14 years, many of which I write about in this blog.  Do I still think all my dreams came true?  And with that question, my mind asks the inevitable follow-up:  are we happily married?  How does one define a successful marriage?

I can’t speak for anyone else, but for me, the defining characteristic of a successful marriage is that you are each other’s “go-to.”  When things are going great, who is the first person you want to tell?  When you have a problem, who is the first person from whom you seek advice?  When you have down time, who is your first choice to spend it with?

Almost 18 years ago, when we first started dating, my answer was Dan.  Almost 16 years ago, when he asked me to marry him, my answer was Dan.  And, through everything we’ve experienced in the past fourteen years of marriage, my answer is the same:  my husband is my go-to person, and my dreams continued to be realized with each passing year.

Today’s Miracle:

14 years of marriage… enough said!

Posted on October 2, 2013, in Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 28 Comments.

  1. Lovely! Congratulations!


  2. Congrats on your anniversary to you and you soulmate! That is awesome!


  3. Beautiful! Happy Anniversary to a wonderful couple and wonderful friends!


  4. This is absolutely beautiful! . It bought back wonderful memories of your wedding. Congratulations!


  5. That is so, so sweet. Thank you for sharing- I got chills! Happy Anniversary to you and your best friend. 🙂


  6. LOVE this. Especially the part where you define a successful and happy marriage. Happy anniversary to you both!!


  7. So very beautiful!!! Thank you.


  8. Very sweet indeed, Josie! Good looking couple there, up in that shiny photo! You guys sound like a strong, wonderful, loving pair. What an inspiration! Look at how that doe-eyed young woman turned out…fabulous.



  9. Running From the Booze

    That poem got me all choked up. Happy anniversary to you both. 🙂


  10. He’s a keeper. And apparently you are too! Congratulations!



  11. runningonsober

    Happy 14 years! Congratulations!


  12. Congratulations on fourteen and counting. Very romantic caper he pulled with the roses and poem. Yeah, that probably went a long way to easing any wedding day jitters for you, knowing you were marrying “that guy.” Sounds like he turned out to be the real deal, too. Wasn’t false-flagging as part of some mating ritual. See ladies, there really are nice guys out there.
    Not me, by any stretch, but I see them around. Doing their laundry at the coin-op.
    Bravo to you both.


    • As a matter of fact, we met at a laundromat…

      Just kidding, but wouldn’t that be a great story? He is the consummate romantic, I will often tease he is the woman in the relationship, but really I’m just jealous of how creative and talented he is!

      I appreciate the comment, and the congratulations, Marius!


  13. Oh…. This is the sweetest story ever! Congrats Josie!


  14. Thank you, Maggie, glad you enjoyed it! I appreciate the well wishes!


  15. How cool are you! Thanks for the affirmation that this can happen. Enjoy your enjoyment! 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

losing anonymously

Learning to balance healthy and happy while living a full and busy life!

Oh for the love of...me

Just another 50+ woman trying to get her shit together.

Guitars and Life

Blog about life by a music obsessed middle aged recovering alcoholic from South East England


I got sober. Life got big.


From daily wine drinker to alcohol free living...this is my journey.


The emotional messy stuff...

Vodka Goggles

No longer seeing the world through vodka colored glasses..


An Irish Mindfulness Meditation Blog: Practicing calm, wellness, meaning and a happier life.


Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Starting today I am on my way.


Trying to ace sober living

Emotional Sobriety And Food

"... to be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety" -- living, loving & letting go.

girl gone sober.

a blog about living sober. i didn't always drink beer but when i did i drank a lot of it. stay sober my friends.

The Sober Garden

Jettisoning the heavy stuff...

The Six Year Hangover


Process Not An Event

Adventures in Addiction Recovery & Cancer Survival

Michelle R. Terry

Writer - Photographer - Dreamer

%d bloggers like this: