Powerlessness

When you’re in the dark and you want to see,
You need uh… Electricity, Electricity
Flip that switch and what do you get?
You get uh… Electricity, Electricity
Every room can now be lit
With just uh… Electricity, Electricity

–School House Rock

Ah, the irony… I can only write this post about powerlessness because I have had power restored after 7 days of darkness!  For those readers unaffected by Hurricane Sandy, be grateful for good weather and electricity!

So much to catch up on, where to start?  When last I wrote, I was preparing for my first-ever meeting of “The Miracle is Around the Corner” group of Alcoholics Anonymous, scheduled for Monday, October 29th.  As it turns out, God also scheduled Hurricane Sandy for the same day, so I was fully prepared to host a meeting for myself.  Imagine my joy when not just one, but three other dedicated “AA-ers” blew through the door!  Two came because they knew it was my inaugural meeting and wanted to support me, and one hardy soul saw my flyer at a meeting and wanted to check it out.  For my meeting topic, I chose a story from the Big Book entitled “Acceptance is the Answer.”  I selected this reading because it played a critical role in my early recovery, and I wanted to give the message back to anyone who might need it.  It turns out the gentleman who saw my flyer was brand new to the program, had never read that story, and he said it was a message he truly needed that morning.  Needless to say, it was a great meeting.

I was actually more nervous for this morning’s meeting than I was for my first one.  After a week of chaos, I was afraid I might lose momentum, and people would forget the meeting existed.  Not to mention that I felt unprepared because I have been preoccupied with things like “where will I be sleeping tonight, ” will I be able to blow dry my hair,” and, most importantly, “will these kids ever go back to school?” for the past week.

So I went in, prepared to tell my story from the perspective of the topic “gratitude,” and again I was humbled, because my meeting doubled!  I had 7 attendees at this morning’s meeting, and we had a grateful morning talking about all the blessings in our lives.

The moral of this story, and the reason I chose this title, is that a large percentage of my worries amount to nothing, and, as such, are a complete waste of time.  I fretted over not having power this week, and it did not change when the lights came back on.  I worried two weeks running that I would have no attendees at my meeting, but instead both weeks I was amazed at the turnout.  I panicked that my lack of preparation would lead to a meeting of dead silence, but instead I brought one person to tears with my message (in a good way, thank God!).

I guess I will eventually figure out how to let go and let God!