Blog Archives

All Tapped Out

With a heavy heart, I am following up on a post I wrote 30 days ago, Tap Your Way Into Right Thinking.  In this post I challenged myself to a 30-day experiment:  I would use the Emotional Freedom Technique of Tapping for 30 days to see if I could change my negative thought patterns concerning my relationship with food.  Sadly, I failed this experiment, and I need to ‘fess up!

First, a little more background into the process called Tapping.  Tapping, as best I understand it, is a therapy process that works by focusing on a painful thought, memory or belief while tapping with your fingertips on various specific energy points located throughout the body.  There are 14 different energy points, called meridians, that are believed to compose an energy system within your body.  Any negative emotion, such as envy, shame, anxiety, or the like, is due to a disturbance in this energy system.

So I figured I could use my negative belief that I cannot change my unhealthy relationship with food, apply the principles of Tapping, and see where I got at the end of 30 days.  Here is what happened:

I practiced the steps outlined in the book faithfully for more than half the time, 16 days.  I attempted to follow the directions to the letter for each of those sessions.  Initially, the biggest stumbling block to this exercise was my complete skepticism of it.  I was self-conscious, even if I was by myself.  And when my kids walked in and asked what the heck I was doing, that was even worse.  So while I attempted to be open-minded about the exercise, I definitely had a ways to go.

The second mistake I made, and I only realized this after the fact, was that I failed to stay completely focused on the negative belief throughout the exercise.  Much like meditation, it was extremely difficult for me to stay in the moment.  Thoughts of what I was going to do next, or who might walk into the room, or, even worse, the thought that this is a complete waste of time kept crowding into my head as I tried to focus and tap.  As I researched a little further into this practice, I now realize that it is essential to focus solely on the negative belief you are looking to change.

If I were to hypothesize, the biggest barrier to this being an effective technique for me personally is my, I guess I can use the word ambivalence, to the philosophy behind it.  I am sure that this technique could work for many people, I am just not sure I am one of them, and this thought, above all else, was probably blocking my ability to be effective.

So that I am not a complete Negative Nellie with this post, I will end with a positive experience I gained from this experiment.  At some point during each of those tapping sessions, I felt a small but definite feeling of lightness, almost like a feeling of hopefulness.  Sometimes, I would even get a thought such as, “Yes, I can develop a healthy relationship with food!” and it would feel almost exciting, like it was a breakthrough.  The feeling was fleeting, but it was interesting, and it did recur.

So, tapping was not a complete waste of time, but, for me, the benefits were not strong enough or permanent enough to reinforce the routine.  The minute my schedule got hectic, I forgot about it completely, and, by the time I remembered I was supposed to be doing it daily, a whole week had passed.  I will chalk this one up to:  nothing ventured, nothing gained!

Today’s Miracle:

When I finish this post, I will be preparing for the one-year anniversary of the meeting I started… more to follow on this subject tomorrow!

Act Today, Shape Tomorrow

The things you do today affect not only today. They build you and prepare you and position you for all the days that will come. -Ralph Marston

I heard something similar to this quote earlier this morning, and it struck a chord.  Small example… I started several mundane projects yesterday, but did not get around to finishing most of them.  Now I am looking at a full schedule for today, and guess what else is waiting for me?  So I can make a choice to defer any activity, but it will have the consequence of creating more work in the days to follow.

Bigger example:  I can choose not to resolve an interpersonal issue, and I can even justify why I won’t make time for it (busy schedule, not good for my recovery, uncertainty over the correct way to solve the issue).  That choice does not make the problem go away, it simply pushes it off until a later date.  And, more often than not, the more I put off dealing with an issue, the larger and more complicated the issue becomes.

So my challenge for today, in both large issues and small, is, as the Nike ads say… Just Do It!

Mile Markers

If I get to bed tonight, I will have 90 days clean and sober.  This is a milestone in the recovery world… I will receive a coin to commemorate the event at my meeting tomorrow, and I will get lots of accolades from my comrades.

Since I am so close to a mile marker, I have spent some time reflecting on what has happened in the past 90 days.  And really, it is nothing short of a miracle.  In many ways, 3 months is not a very long period of time, and yet…

Three months ago I truly believed my life, as I knew it, was over.  Every single relationship in my life was in jeopardy.  My marriage, I believed, was over.  My home life, ruined.  The list goes on and on about what was wrong.  I really cannot overstate the depths of despair that I was in.  I felt that my addiction caused permanent, irreparable damage to every area of my life.

Fast forward to today… I start off the day, in my own home, with a warm hug and a waiting cup of coffee from my husband.  I have the privilege of getting my children ready for, and taking them to, school.  I spend a little time getting prepared for a big family party, then head down to my regular 12-step meeting.  I walk into the meeting, a little early, and am greeted with yells from across the room, calling me by name.  People stop to ask me specific questions about my life, and genuinely want to hear my response.  When I tell people about how good my life is, they are ecstatic, because they clearly remember how sad I was when they first met me 90 days ago.  And that was just the morning!

The miracles are too numerous to count.  If all this can happen in 90 days, imagine what will happen 6 months, or a year?

losing anonymously

Learning to balance healthy and happy while living a full and busy life!

Oh for the love of...me

Just another 50+ woman trying to get her shit together.

Guitars and Life

Blog about life by a music obsessed middle aged recovering alcoholic from South East England

Off-Dry

I got sober. Life got big.

HealthyJen

From daily wine drinker to alcohol free living...this is my journey.

themessyjessytruth.wordpress.com/

The emotional messy stuff...

Vodka Goggles

No longer seeing the world through vodka colored glasses..

Mindfulbalance

An Irish Mindfulness Meditation Blog: Practicing calm, wellness, meaning and a happier life.

viatoday

Today is the first day of the rest of my life. Starting today I am on my way.

ainsobriety

Trying to ace sober living

Emotional Sobriety And Food

"... to be able to Twelfth Step ourselves and others into emotional sobriety" -- living, loving & letting go.

girl gone sober.

a blog about living sober. i didn't always drink beer but when i did i drank a lot of it. stay sober my friends.

The Sober Garden

Jettisoning the heavy stuff...

The Six Year Hangover

A BLOG BY A GAY MAN GETTING SOBER IN NEW YORK CITY.

Process Not An Event

Adventures in Addiction Recovery & Cancer Survival

And Everything Afterwards

How I quit alcohol and discovered the beauty of a sober life