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Giving The Steps A Chance

The difficulty lies not so much in developing new ideas as in escaping from old ones. –
John Maynard Keynes

Tonight will be my third session of my one-on-one Big Book study.  I have not written much about it, because, frankly, not a whole lot has happened.  The woman who is “taking me through” the Big Book is absolutely wonderful, with a ton of knowledge on all things AA, but I guess I had some preconceived notions about what would happen when I went through this process, and so far none have come to pass.

At this point, “doing the steps” feels a lot like taking a history course on the founders of AA.  I am not complaining about this… I have always loved school…. but I simply cannot imagine anything life-changing happening as a result of these sessions.

And the kicker is this: supposedly, the entire process generally takes about 10 weeks.  What!?!

Alright, this is why I have not written on this subject, and it is time to reel myself back in.  First:  keep an open mind.  Second, remember there is no worst-case scenario, because I am gaining knowledge on a subject that has become very important to me, so it is all good.  Third, if the “psychic change” that I am promised in the Big Book does not happen, I can always try again.  And finally, keep an open mind (I always need to tell myself this twice).  I really hope there is a follow-up tomorrow where I can publicly acknowledge my skepticism was all for nothing!

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