I hope this writing finds you off to a wonderful start in 2016.
The start of 2016 has me stymied with respect to the direction of this blog. I am ready for a change, but am really struggling with the nuts and bolts of said change.
I started writing this blog almost 4 years ago to document my journey of recovery from addiction. Part diary, part accountability tool, part self-guided therapy, I wrote a lot that first year, and in that writing learned a great deal about myself.
Somewhere in the course of that first year the blog morphed into an unexpected treasure trove of fellowship and camaraderie. Now not only was I getting things out of my head, but I was getting invaluable feedback from like-minded bloggers. What a gift!
In the next two years, life evened out, recovery stabilized, life drama declined… well, dramatically. The things on which I needed to vent often had very little to do with the main purpose of this blog: sobriety.
In 2015 I committed to bringing it back to its focus, which had me more or less exclusively writing about the lessons I gleaned from the 12-step meeting I chair each week.
A great concept, and I’m proud of those blog posts, and the message they impart to readers (at least the message I hope they impart).
But as I reflect on the trajectory of the blog, I’m not enjoying how far from the original purpose I’ve wandered. I started this blog to journal about my recovery, and for the past year most of what I’ve done is report the wisdom of others.
I have a few thoughts rolling around my head as I consider the possibilities. The first is to get a bit more real about life in 12-step recovery after a few years. As anyone who has read my blog knows, I am committed to the principles within the 12 steps of recovery; further, I believe those same 12 steps can help everyone, not just those of us who have chosen sobriety.
That said, there are struggles to be found in staying committed as the years go by. Up to this point, I abstained from writing of these struggles, lest I discourage even one person from considering 12-step recovery. But if I am to write as authentically as I did that first year, then those struggles would be exactly what I would write about, in terms of recovery.
So that’s one possibility. Another is to write about the things that take a more front-burner spot in my life these days: kids, marriage, diet, fitness, career changes, clutter management, which series I should select next to binge watch. Certainly not on point in terms of the main focus, but at least it would be more personal than a weekly meeting recap.
Finally, I could decide to keep things as is. If even one person decides to try a meeting in their area as a result of reading the magic that happens in mine, then I’ve done a great service. And since I know that has happened, why mess with a good thing?
Or I could do some combination of the above. Or I could start taking pictures of my dog and posting them. She is really cute, so that may be as valid an idea as any.
As always, I value your thoughts more than I could possibly say. If you have any opinion or preference in terms of future posts, I would love to hear it.
In the meantime, since I haven’t decided, here’s a quick and dirty synopsis of today’s meeting: 19 attendees, we read the introduction to the book Alcoholics Anonymous (colloquially referred to as “The Big Book”), and the general theme of the shares was “cunning, baffling, and powerful, is the disease of alcoholism.”
What struck me the most this morning was the person who shared he had all the desire in the world to stop drinking, but it wasn’t until he fully accepted that he had the disease of alcoholism that he was able to actually stop drinking. As someone who struggled for a long time with this very issue, I related entirely to this share.
Now, the knowledge that I have chosen sobriety as a way of life is a gift rather than a life sentence.
Writing this post. It’s been so long since I’ve opened up on this blog, I hesitated more than I would have ever thought possible!