Awkward God Conversations
Is it just me, or is it incredibly uncomfortable to have conversations involving a Higher Power?
I just had one of these conversations the other day. It was not my first, and, since I assume it will not be my last, I figured why not explore this self-consciousness a bit and see what I discover? The conversations of which I speak are when I am trying to explain the evolution of my spirituality, which should, in theory, be a point of great pride. And it is, between me, myself and I, but whenever I try to speak of this topic, I convince myself that I sound like a cross between Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson.
What’s important to note is that the general audience with whom I converse are believers: folks in AA generally have some sort of spirituality, my family are all born and raised Catholic, and, come to think of it, so are all of my friends. Quite the homogenous world I live in; nonetheless, the “God” word is offensive to no one in my orbit. I do not personally know a single atheist or agnostic, and how weird is that?
So why the discomfort?
The best I can come up with is not wanting to scare people off by sounding too Holy Roller-ish. I went to a small, Catholic college, and there was a group known as the God Squad. Suffice it to say that they were not the Cool Kids, for sure.
But this self-consciousness also makes me guilty. If I believe in God, if I love God, if I am grateful for all the miracles He has bestowed upon me, then why be shy about it?
This is a post with more question marks than periods. In fact, I am really hopeful that something in the comment section illuminates a light bulb in my head with regard to this subject.
These conversations are uncomfortable all across the board. I remember once when going through the steps with my sponsor, she suggested I get into the ritual of saying prayers with my husband. First thought: Absolutely. No. Way. Second and third thoughts: I agree with the first. Needless to say, I never took that suggestion.
My Mom is a devout Catholic, and, while it’s probably the least awkward with her, it’s still feels funny to me.
This could be one of those issues where the best advice is not to over-analyze, just accept the feelings as they are, and trust that in time these conversations will get easier.
Let’s keep this one short, in the hopes of generating further discussion: for you God believers, is it weird to talk about it? If so, how do you handle the weirdness?
Not being struck by lightning after admitting I don’t like talking about God?