Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder


I have been offline for a week now, and I can’t tell you how much I’ve missed this community!  I have only just begun catching up, I feel like I’ve missed a gazillion great posts!

I am making this statement not just to say “hey!” to all the posts I’m late in reading, but also to bring up the point of today’s post.  The reason I was absent last week was because I was preparing for my son’s 11th birthday.  We were hosting a sit-down dinner for 15, followed by an ice cream party/sleep-over, followed by a trip to a trampoline place, followed by a lunch, I could go on for a while longer, but, suffice it to say:  a busy weekend that required a lot of prep work.  As a result, I was consumed with the details that involve making a weekend such as this one a success, and therefore let my usual sobriety-focused routines fall to the wayside.  Nothing overly dramatic, as I’m only talking a week, but enough small “concessions” that by Sunday I was feeling the effects of a full-on emotional hangover:  I was exhausted, cranky as all get-out, and reverting to behaviors in which I have not indulged in a really, really long time.

I woke up Monday, very excited to get back to a regular routine and lead my Monday meeting.  And at that meeting the topic (pre-arranged) was Step 10:  continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.  If I were to attempt to highlight the portions of the chapter that directly applied to my life, I would, in fact, be re-typing the chapter.  The focus of step 10 is to self-evaluate, at the very least daily, but, more specifically, when in any kind of turmoil.  Because if I am feeling turmoil, I am the root cause, and the only way to resolve it is to look at my thoughts, feelings and behaviors.  Guess what I failed to do the entire weekend?

The second part of step 10:  and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.  Quick side note:  as I was typing that last sentence, my husband called to say hi.  So I can now say that I have put into action the second part of step 10 as it relates to this past weekend.  Again, there is nothing melodramatic that happened, I believe all who attended the dinner party had a great time, they ate well, and my son had a fantastic celebration.  But only I am in my head, and I haven’t felt this out of sorts in a long, long time, and I don’t enjoy the feeling at all.  When I think that this is how I used to live life daily, I shudder… how in the hell did I live like this?  And I know, if I am feeling this bad, then there is no doubt that I am acting out of sorts as well, and so my husband, as usual, becomes my default punching bag.  I already feel better for having promptly admitted my mistakes.

So the moral of today’s story:  sharing your turbulent thoughts really does calm the mind, and try to keep constant the routines that keep you serene, even when you are stressed.  Because avoiding routine during stressful times is like throwing gasoline on a fire, and there is that much more to douse at the end!

Today’s Miracle:

Since I posted a picture of last year’s birthday cake, I figured I could do it again… it was a work of art!


Posted on October 21, 2013, in Monday Meeting Miracles and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 10 Comments.

  1. I can relate to high lighting the whole chapter. I did it a couple times until I just started earring the page. I just take advantages of moments to laugh when I’m stressed. It kind of brings me back to reality. And when I feel gross inside, I try to look at it instead for fueling it. But I too fall short


  2. OH man! That cakes looks awesome and I bet it tasted as good as it look! It’s morning here, all of the sudden I feel like cake would be great with some coffee! Lol!

    I love the way you incorporated the 10th step there! This is one of my favorite and at times the hardest one to do! Lots of balance required and leaving the ego back on the shelf – as my friend says! 🙂


    • Maybe I’m crazy, but cake does taste best with coffee in the morning 🙂

      It wasn’t me incorporating the 10th step, it was divine intervention, I am just grateful that I pay enough attention to get it!

      Thanks, Maggie, and you are so right, balance is certainly the key!


  3. Great to have you back, Josie. I was thinking of you the other day and was hoping that you were well. I figured you were just busy…and boy were you. Fab cake! I am taking my boy for his b-day to a jumping place too – lots of fun.

    I understand the getting out of routine thing. I get into those phases – recently I haven’t been working my step 10 /11 as much (funny you mention it here…hmmmm…) and promptly started up again after about a week or so (I am mostly talking about the review at night – step 11). But I have also been creating new routines, which is good for me too. I do my prayers while I walk back from dropping the boys off or when I go for a run. I do my step 3/7 prayer the moment I wake up, but save the rest for later, before the day starts to get rolling. I was never like that – I HAD to do the big shebang upon awakening. Felt guilty if I didn’t, but now see it more organically.

    But step 10 – love it too. It’s starting to become more automatic for me, but I notice that when I am very stressed or anxious or angry, I forget about it…lol. So that is something I need to work on – being conscious of it even in the turmoil of life.

    The great thing is that we can always bring ourselves back down to earth – talk to someone, write about it, pray, meditate, help others…these things usually calm me down.

    Great post Josie and glad to see you here.

    Love and light,


    • Thanks for sharing those new routines, Paul. As always, you have me thinking… if I did “break up” my prayers a bit, I would probably have more substance to them. Sometimes in the early morning I am not focused as I should be, this is a great idea to do it while exercising, etc.

      And I also agree about the great thing… we can always take some simple steps to bring ourselves back in balance.

      Thanks for the insightful comments!


  4. How nice that you’ve got your priorities straight. Your son will never be 11 again. We will all still be hear blogging and conversing. I love that we can leave the room and walk back in and it’s just okay … it’s good. Otherwise we’ve traded one addiction for another. (IMO)

    The cake looks GREAT. You’ve got skills!


    • Oh, so, so true, the addiction I traded this past weekend was grudge-holding and bickering, and boy did they progress rapidly!

      And I do agree, we can walk out of a room and back in… I just opted not to do so this past weekend. Thank God for reset buttons!

      Thanks, Lisa!


  5. Josie! I’ve been feeling the SAME way! We went took the kids to Disneyland for the first time and ever since getting back I’ve felt crazy-like. Ugh. I think the exhaustion of traveling, being off schedule and disconnected got me feeling really “off.” Also, I haven’t been writing lately and I know that’s part of the problem. I need to do some self-reflection and get to the bottom of it because I hate feeling this way. Missed you guys! Oh, and the cake is amazing – probably tasted amazing too!


    • Disneyland, that’s fun! I have only taken mine to Disney World, we’ll have to compare notes sometime! That is definitely one where you need a vacation from the vacation, for sure. I hope you recover quickly, and look forward to the next post! Thanks, Chenoa!


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