The Twelve Steps in Everyday Living: Part Two
There is a great deal of variety in how people in recovery come to take this step, because there is a great variety of belief (or lack thereof) in a Higher Power.
I consider myself fortunate to have had a lifelong belief in God. Prior to recovery, my mindset on God was simple. God helps those who help themselves… and since I, in active addiction, was doing very little to help myself, how could I possibly expect Him to help me? I certainly prayed in active addiction. Unfortunately, they were what we in AA call “foxhole prayers.” God, please just get me out of this mess, and I’ll never (fill in the blank) again! Of course, once the urgency disappeared, so did my end of whatever bargain I had made.
When I finally hit bottom, I got down on my knees, and my prayer took a slightly different format. I asked God to show me what I was doing wrong. As I asked this, I had reviewed what had worked for me, what did not, and what seemed to be working for others that I had not yet tried. Before I rose from the kneeling position, I had a plan in place: I would do 4 things every day: I start each day on my knees and pray, I would go to a meeting, I would talk to another alcoholic, and I would not pick up a drink or drug.
And day by day, that is just what I did, and some days, in the beginning, that is all I did, and little by little, life got better. That is how I came to believe that God could restore me to sanity, because I believe God gave me the blue print to start my life over.
What happens in Step 2, at least what happened for me, is that you start to think, if it can work with addiction, can it work with the rest of life? And the answer, of course, is a resounding YES.
Maybe the most recent example I can give from my own life is dealing with my daughter. She is almost 13, and, I don’t want to sound like a cliché here, but she is turning into a completely different person before my eyes. The physical I expected. The personality changes… I have been blown away by how quick and how complete the change has been. It’s to the point that when I see glimpses of the pre-hormonal child, it is then that I am surprised.
Now of course I know, and any Mother of a teenage daughter is nodding sagely as she reads this, hormonal personality changes are a part of life. But, for real, my daughter was the most angelic person I have ever known, and it is just heart-breaking to see that go away. Basically, dealing with the suddenness of these changes, and wanting desperately to stop them, could drive a person insane.
So in the same way that I described in Step One, when events happen, and my life feels unmanageable, I now know what I have to do, which is believe that God will help me find peace. I just have to let Him, which brings me to…
Posted on April 19, 2013, in Twelve Steps in Everyday Living and tagged Addiction, Alcoholic Anonymous, God, Higher Power, hormonal changes, Prayer, pre-teen, puberty, Recovery, Sobriety, Substance Abuse, Support group, Twelve-Step Program, Yes (band). Bookmark the permalink. 5 Comments.