I Had A Dream (A Drunk Dream)

It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live. -J.K. Rowling

Sorry, Martin Luther King, but I just had to paraphrase you, because I did, in fact, have a drunk dream last night.

For those who do not understand the expression, a drunk dream occurs when a person in recovery dreams about drinking, and wakes up with the physical feelings of having done so.

My dream, in the cold light of day, is actually pretty funny.  I was sharing one of those single serving bottles of wine with a friend with whom I used to work.  This is funny, because, while drinking, I would have been annoyed to share a regular size bottle of wine.

I woke up abruptly, which cut the dream off, but when I climbed out of bed I felt a little light-headed, and it all came back into focus.  When I examined the dream, what bothered me most was that I didn’t seem at all bothered with the fact that I just gave up my sobriety.  In the dream, I more or less rationalized that I hadn’t drunk that much, and I was focused on other issues (which would make no sense if I tried to write them out, just jumbled dream stuff).  As soon as I remembered the dream, I was horrified, why wasn’t I upset in the dream?  Why didn’t I feel remorse?

For those in recovery, drunk dreams are not unusual, and we are given the tools to deal with them as they happen.  First, I got down on my knees and thanked God that it was only a dream.  I then walked down the stairs and told my husband about it, and how I felt.  Finally, I went to the first meeting I could, I raised my hand as soon as it was time to share, and I told a group of like-minded people what had happened, and how I felt about it.  And, predictably, by the time I left the meeting, I was at peace.

Today’s Miracle:

My son’s “Valentine Dream” come to life (see yesterday’s miracle)!