Willingness

Where the willingness is great, the difficulties cannot be great. –Niccolo Machiavelli

Because it is the first month of the year, a lot of 12-step meetings focus on Step One, “We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable.”

Step one usually involves a moment of surrender, another topic discussed quite a bit in the month of January.  I hear about all different types of surrender… some just reach an internal decision that they have had enough, others drag themselves to it because of the prodding of others, still others have to hit a crisis point in order to finally give in to the premise that they cannot do it on their own.  Finally, each person turns to a power outside of themselves.

Once in recovery, it is easy to see that many solution to life’s problems lie in the same basic format.  Healthy lifestyle changes, other addictions, even removing irritating personality flaws can be accomplished by simply turning it over to a power greater than oneself, and working on it one day at a time.

But what if you know all this, and you want the end result, but simply don’t feel like making the effort?  I wrote earlier in the week about my struggles with exercise (I did, by the way, get to the gym that day, and I even went today, twice in a week is a record for me at this point).  So I know it is a healthy lifestyle change that would bring untold benefits, I absolutely want the end results of becoming more physically fit, and I can even appreciate the feeling I get when I have accomplished even a small amount of exercise.  But still I struggle with that final surrender.  What to do?

My personal experience with surrender was at a moment of personal crisis.  But I don’t ever want to get to that point again, with anything… I don’t want to have some health crisis drive me to the point of surrender, so how do I get the mind shift without the crisis?

And back to the value of regular meeting attendance, and sharing internal struggles.  The feedback I received was instantaneous, and the advice made perfect sense:  if you know you want something, but can’t get motivated enough to take action, pray for willingness.  Eureka!  This simple suggestion is why I am so grateful to friends in the Fellowship.  Just that little bit of wisdom had me motivated enough to drag my sick rear end to the gym immediately following my meeting.  And, believe you me, when I hit my knees tomorrow morning, the request for willingness is going into the routine!

Today’s Miracle:

The gift of giving and receiving that takes place within any 12-step meeting is an absolute miracle.

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Posted on January 11, 2013, in Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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