Examining the Family

Today is a day to get things done. Today is a day to make real progress.

Don’t waste your time wishing for what might have been. Get up, get going and make the very best of what now can be.

Don’t get angry or frustrated about the way things are. Get to work and make things the way you would like them to be.

You have an outstanding opportunity right here and now. You can make creative, meaningful and valuable use of your time.

This is your chance to be effective. This is your chance to get out in front of life and to get beyond whatever may have been holding you back.

Stop waiting, stop wishing, stop complaining and start taking positive action. This is a day to get things done, so live it for all it’s worth.

— Ralph Marston

A couple of interesting things came together for me today.  First:  12-step meetings.  For the past week, I have had the opportunity to be a sounding board to a variety of women who are experiencing frustrations in their family life.  The stories are absolutely heart-breaking, because, as someone in recovery, I know full well that the first few months of sobriety absolutely, positively have to be about not picking up a drink or drug.  Period.  So when you are dealing with stress other than sobriety, it is brutal.  I certainly had stress in the earliest days of sobriety, but I was also blessed with an amazingly supportive circle of friends and family who helped in every way they could to make my recovery a success.  My heart breaks for people who are less fortunate… people who not only have to learn how to combat their addiction, but also to combat people who are interfering with their recovery.  Today in particular I left my meeting thanking God for the gift of my family and friends.

A couple of hours later, I had an appointment with a therapist that, for the most part, I am resistant to attending.  Don’t get me wrong, I am open and honest with her, but I feel like I get what I need from my membership in the AA fellowship, so each week this appointment feels like an inconvenience more than anything else.  Anyway, she asked me to identify what life events were noteworthy in terms of my addiction.  Now there’s a loaded question for me if ever there was one.  Which addiction?  My whole life has been spent addicted to one thing or another, so to look at root causes I need to go back to an age I honestly don’t remember, examine my family life at a time when I was younger than my children are now, and figure out once and for all why I use external things as coping skills.  Basically, the entire hour made me really uncomfortable, which I always take as a sign of progress.  If I am resistant to thinking about something, that means it is something I need to examine.

I came home from that appointment, and found the quote I put at the top of this post in my email inbox.

The bottom line:  despite myself, I am evolving.

Today’s Miracle:

I went to the gym today.  Seriously, it is a miracle.

Posted on January 2, 2013, in Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. susieslittleinspirations

    i have battled all day with the thought of going to the off-sales to the point where I did’nt even get dressed because I knew if I was then I would. Today has been the same step father v stepson arguements and it was so nice to read your blog. At least I can believe there is a miracle around the corner ..i guess i just have to walk faster toreach there. x


    • Thanks so much for the comment, it is so nice to know there are people out there who relate! I hope the miracle came for you that day!


      • susieslittleinspirations

        unfortunately the battle of depression has sent me so low tonight that the alcohol has been consumed. I know its not the answer but at the min it is..hopefully i will find strength. xo


      • Hi Susie, I am sorry I am just getting around to reading this, and I am even more sorry for the amount of pain you must be feeling. I actually logged onto your blog for a few minutes before replying, and I clicked on your poem titled “Depression.” Beautifully written, and the sentiment seems topical right now. I could give you the usuals… “there is nothing so bad a drink can’t make worse,” but I doubt you want to hear it right now. What I would like you to know is that I would be happy to be that person you write about in your poem… and if you need to talk to someone who understands, I’d be be happy to listen. You have a gift that you need to keep sharing with the world, so therefore you have to work through the pain. I am praying for you, feel free to contact me offline if you want to talk.


      • susieslittleinspirations

        awh thank you, that means so much. I have spent all day in bed and being sick – alcohol and painkillers arent a good combination on their own let alone for a depressed person. xox Writing my poems I guess is my way on trying to make sense what goes on in my head.


    • Not sure where you’re at in your day. But know that you are loved and that sobriety is possible. I will keep you in my prayers. Lisa (One of Miracle’s followers)


  2. Okay, I’m a few days behind, but will catch up. Promise! I couldn’t have expressed this so well. My whole life was addiction. where to start? where to start? … Someone once told me to “start where you’re at” … (this gem had never entered my mind) You are doing so well! You are evolving and you are always inspiring me. Lisa


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