Becoming “Right Sized”

rightsize[ˈraɪtˌsaɪz]

vb

(Business / Commerce) to restructure (an organization) to cut costs and improve effectiveness without ruthlessly downsizing
The expression “becoming right sized” is one I hear a lot in the rooms of AA.  In earlier months, when I heard it, I didn’t think it necessarily applied to me, because it was used in the context of bringing yourself down to right size, which implies thinking too much of yourself, and I tend to think of myself as somewhat “less than” when it comes to almost anything.
This week, I have had the opportunity to get a clearer understanding of this expression, and use it in what I believe is its proper context.  As I have written about in numerous previous posts, I have consequences from my active addiction that I need to pay.  My program started this week, and there have been many surprise directives, and interactions that require the full amount of humility I have gained in the past 248 days.  Since life is about progress and not perfection, there have been quite a few moments of “are you kidding me?!?” and “I have to do WHAT?!?”  and “there is no way…”
These thoughts led to the inevitable pity party, which, thankfully, did not last more than a few hours (it should be noted that the old me would have attended this pity party for a lot longer, so I do feel proud of cutting that time by the amount I did).  When I finally snapped out of my funk, I recalled the promises I have made numerous times in the past 8 months with respect to these consequences… “if I have to stand on my head for the next year, I will do that, and will be grateful to do so.” I said those words, I meant them, and I am going to do what I need to do with the correct attitude… I made a mistake, I am paying the price for it, and I will grow from any and all experiences in the meantime.
So back to that cryptic definition I found for the expression “rightsize.”  That applies to personality as well as it does to business, and here’s how:  it’s important for me to restructure my own thought processes, and to eliminate the negative beliefs and the old ways of thinking, while maintaining and developing the newer beliefs, and the ones that are working in my life.  Rightsizing is a challenge in times of stress, but it can be done!
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Posted on October 4, 2012, in Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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