Step 4: Making a Searching and Fearless Moral Inventory
Confession of errors is like a broom which sweeps away the dirt and leaves the surface brighter and clearer. I feel stronger for confession. –Mahatma Gandhi
Hard as it is for me to believe, I am about to embark on step 4 in the 12 steps of recovery. For as long as I have known about the 12 steps, step 4 has always seemed like the most daunting of them all (although step 9, making direct amends to people, doesn’t sound like a joy ride either). But every other step seems feasible… painful and humbling… but within my power to do. The whole concept of writing down an entire inventory of my life seems beyond my personal scope. I can barely remember what happened a half hour ago, how am I supposed to remember my entire life?
And yet, I feel like the very answers I have been searching for my whole life will lie in the pages I am about to write. All my life I have struggled with one addiction or another, ranging from the harmless (computer games), to the destructive (drugs and alcohol), and many more in between. So the $64 question is: why? Everything I know about step work leads me to believe that the inventory in step 4, if done thoroughly and honestly, will demonstrate a pattern of behavior that answers that all-important question.
So, the pressure mounts, and, me being me, I worry about choking under the pressure. Fortunately, I am not in this process alone, and I have a wise and experienced guide who will ensure I am doing it the right way. I will be very excited to share my progress as I make it!
Posted on September 17, 2012, in Recovery and tagged AA, Addiction, Asia, God, Higher Power, History, Mahatma Gandhi, Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi, Recovery, Support group, Twelve-Step Program. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.