Step Study Homework Assignment

Last night was my fifth session with Ann, who is taking me through the 12 steps in my recovery program.  I have been given my first writing assignment.  Multi-tasker that I am (or some might call it lazy), I figured I would combine my homework with today’s post.  So here it is:

Assignment #1:  My Description of my Higher Power (I choose to call my Higher Power God, and will use both terms interchangeably)

I am not a visual person, so I don’t “picture” God when I am praying.  Rather, God for me is more conceptual… He is a power greater than myself, greater than any human being, greater than anything I can even imagine, so to try to put a face on something I cannot comprehend seems silly.  I believe this power is everywhere in the universe, but in particular He exists in every human being; therefore, the God of my understanding is within me at all times.

The way I make conscious contact with this Higher Power is by calming my mind as best I can, thanking Him for all the blessings I have in my life, asking for the things I need, and attempting as best I can to listen to what He is telling me.  He responds to me in many ways… He is the quiet voice in my head that, when I listen, brings me peace, He helps me to observe signs that I used to call “coincidences” but now know was God showing Himself, He provides countless blessings that bring joy to my life, and, when I experience pain, I believe He is helping me to learn and grow from it.

The listening part can be the most challenging.  The best analogy I can come up with is this… have you ever had to deal with a small child that is sick with fever, is also hungry, and needs his/her diaper changed?  That child is inconsolable, and until his/her needs are addressed, cannot be soothed.  That is what I feel like I was to God… I was so distracted by my own self-created problems, so disconnected from Him, that my life became completely chaotic.  The more chaotic my life became, the less I was able to calm myself and listen to what God was telling me to do.  Luckily, the situation has reversed, and my life has come into a wonderful balance.  And I have faith that the more connected I am to God, the better my life will become.

Have you ever really thought about your concept of God?  How would you describe Him, or Her, or It?  I bet you will be amazed by the thought process, I know I was!

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Posted on September 11, 2012, in Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. We’re covering Step 2 in our Step Study meeting. Your post was timely and I enjoyed reading it.

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  2. Ohhhh I love this post. I love when we identify our attributes of our HP/God. This is empowering on many levels. We get to see our strengths in self as well as areas/opportunities for growth in self (presumably we are aiming at becoming more like our HP/Creator). I am so excited you are sharing the intimacy of your step work. I see it as more courageous than anything else. AND good multi-tasking too. with love, L

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  3. What an interesting exercise. I’ll be thinking right along with you and look forward to discussing this issue further with you. Thank you for giving me somthing very interesting to reflect upon.

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  4. So beautifully and eloquently written. You have such a gift in expressing your thoughts. I absolutely love your analogy. The unconsolable child. Beautiful!!!

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