Spring Ahead, and Fall Ahead Too!
Lasting sobriety is achieved within the mind-set of abstaining from alcohol and drugs. Our ability to abstain is the by-product, at first, of sheer desperation the waking nightmare of our lives. Over time, however, we grow to enjoy the waking hours. It is then that recovery takes on a momentum of its own- abstinence becomes normal. -Lisa Neumann, Sober Identity
Today I am changing over to fall decorations. This is the type of project that I dread in advance, but enjoy immensely when it is finished (our house is absolutely made for fall decor, it is so beautiful!). This year, however, brings painful memories along with the usual work that goes into the switch.
In the not-so-distant past, this type of activity would be one in which I would have liked to be in an altered state. It is painful just typing that last sentence. Doing something for the first time in recovery that you had last done in addiction brings the painful past front and center, and is extremely uncomfortable. It is not the first time I have experienced these feelings, and I’m sure it will not be the last.
What is different is how I handle these feelings. The first thing I have to do is acknowledge exactly what they are, and why they are happening. Once I know exactly what I am dealing with emotionally, I can talk back to the feelings. It is so important to remember… feelings aren’t facts, and they have nothing to do with present reality. My 224 days of sobriety has given my recovery the momentum about which the quote above speaks, and thank God for that momentum! It is that momentum that allowed me to talk back to my feelings of shame, allowed me to finish my decorating project, and will allow me to enjoy my home in a way I never have before.