When The Solution is Annoying

When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer, the problem went away. -pg. 417, Alcoholics Anonymous

I started to write this post with a completely different quote, and with a completely different intention.

This morning I had a conversation that did not go well, and it left me agitated.  My intention was to quote a very well-known section of the Big Book (the Bible of Alcoholics Anonymous), and then rant that I have found a loophole that this section cannot explain.  Here is the quote:

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.  When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing, or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.

My point was, “but what if that person is dead wrong!?!  Am I still supposed to accept it!?!  And more ranting to that effect.

And then I looked at the paragraph above the “acceptance is the answer” paragraph, and saw the line I put at the top of this post.  As soon as I read the sentence (and believe me, this is a section of the book I have read many times, it is a very famous story), the light bulb went off.  It is almost annoying, really, because I felt so justified in being completely right!  I had been living in the problem… someone not listening to the words I am speaking, and instead responding with preconceived notions about my thoughts and requests… and instead, I need to live in the answer… communicating more effectively from the outset, stating my requests more clearly, and, most importantly, picking the appropriate time and place for a constructive conversation.

If someone is only willing to give me limited attention when I speak, or not willing to have an effective conversation, then, quite simply, I must accept it.  End of story.  Anything I do beyond that point is only aggravating myself!

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Posted on September 5, 2012, in Recovery and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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