Sometimes It’s Good To Be An Alcoholic
Step 10 of Alcoholics Anonymous: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it
Today has been one of those days in which I am consciously grateful to be a member of a 12-step program. The day started, as most days do, with children bickering to the point that requires my involvement. I attempted to remain calm and talk through the problem, and I further tried to encourage them to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of why the incessant arguing is problematic for everyone. To say this did not go well would be an understatement, and I, for the second time this summer, left the house very angry.
I arrived at my regular meeting at the same time as a friend did. Since I apparently wear my emotions the way other people wear clothes, he took one look at me and wanted to know what was wrong. I told him the events of the morning, and his response? “You know, Josie, the point of this program is to practice these principles in all our affairs, and those affairs include our children.” I promptly told him to shut up, but of course he was absolutely correct.
I think up to this point I have thanked God for all my blessings, and I turn over to Him all in my life that is huge, or seems to have no answer, or is overwhelming. But the smaller issues, like my constant annoyance with my children? It has never occurred to me to turn that over, because overall, I know I am so blessed with their health and happiness. It seems trivial to ask God for help with the minor stuff. But here’s what happens when you don’t turn the little stuff over… it becomes big stuff, and then I react in ways that I regret. Later in the same meeting an older gentleman was speaking of the 7 (holy moly!) grandchildren that he watches daily, and how thankful he is to have a higher power that he can shoot a prayer up to: “God, just help me keep quiet for 20 seconds, that’s all I need to regain control.”
Now why didn’t I think of that?
The final component that makes me happy to be an alcoholic: by the end of my meeting, I was calm, centered, and able to go home and make amends to my children. I followed up with a much more productive conversation about my expectations for their behavior, and, for the time being, I believe they understand. Until the next argument, peace reigns in my household!
Posted on August 29, 2012, in Recovery and tagged Addiction, Alcoholic Anonymous, God, Health, Recovery, Substance Abuse, Support group, Today (NBC program), Twelve-Step Program. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.