Being of Service… Another Milestone!

Very often you will hear recovering alcoholics say that a big part of their program involves saying yes whenever they are asked to be in service, whether they want to or not.  I had that experience today, and it led to another personal milestone.

I walked into my regular daily meeting with about two minutes to spare, because I had finally hauled my lazy a$$ to the gym.  It is important to note that I was at the gym, because that means I walked into the meeting looking quite a bit more “casual” (a kind understatement) than I would normally prefer to look, but I was so pleased with myself for exercising, I figured it would be worth it.  I was happy as a clam, and my normal gang was already seated.  I was just getting ready to have a quick conversation with the group, when the chair called me to the front of the room.  As I walked up, I realized it was Monday, which means the format of the meeting is a speaker meeting, and the speaker seat was empty.  It was all I could do not to go running right out the door, but, remembering all I have learned, I took a deep breath, and approached the chair of the meeting.

And I, with exactly zero time to prepare, became the speaker at this morning’s meeting.  While I do not have a terrible hardship with public speaking, I do have a problem with being unprepared for public speaking.  Again, I called to mind what I have been taught, which is that there is no need to prepare, simply ask God to put the right words in your mouth, so I shot up a quick prayer (and I mean quick, there was NO TIME!), and off I went.

Here is what I learned:  sometimes taking a deep breath and saying a prayer is all the preparation you need.  Fortunately, I had told my story once before, when I did have time to prepare, at a different meeting, so I could draw upon that experience to help me lay out my personal timeline as it related to addiction.  Another big benefit to this blessing in disguise… I felt like I had really gotten to know many of the “regulars” at this meeting, but, now that I have shared my story with the group, I feel like they really know me.  One person raised their hand and said they appreciated my “brutal honesty,” which was a great compliment, because, as I have mentioned in earlier posts, I truly struggled with honesty for a long time, and so being told that felt like true progress.  I also worry that my story is unusual compared to what I often hear in the rooms, and yet I had 2 different women and 1 man walk up to me afterwards and tell me that I told their exact story.  Knowing that my speaking touches another… it is hard to put into words how rewarding it feels.

Even though I wanted to kill him at the time, I will remember the chairperson of this meeting for a long time, because he gave me a great gift!