FEAR: False Evidence Appearing Real
A mind focused on doubt and fear cannot focus on the journey to victory. ~ Mike Jones
I have learned, through recovery, that at the heart of any problem in life… addiction, of course, being a problem in life… is fear. Perhaps because I am still relatively new to the 12-step program, I have not been able to trace back all problems in my life to fear, but then again, I have not truly inventoried my life yet, so I guess there’s still time.
But when I am facing fear, it is a comfort to use the knowledge I have gained so far to help me conquer the negative feelings that accompany this emotion. For me, when I have fear, it affects every area of my life… I even have dreams that seem to zero in on what makes me most afraid, and then plays that fear out in my head all night long. And when you wake up from those kinds of dreams, it does not feel like a good start to your day, to say the least.
The biggest obstacle for me to overcome in managing fear exists strictly between my ears. In other words, most of the things I fear are imagined outcomes of upcoming events. Which is why the title of this post is important for me to remember any time I am feeling fear… is what I fear actually happening, or is it something I’m afraid might happen? I have never done any verifiable research, but my best guess would be 99.9% of things I fear are not truly happening in the moment, but rather events I fear could happen, or how someone may react, or what dangers could possibly befall my children… the list goes on an on. And since, as I have written about numerous times by now, worrying about anything that hasn’t happened yet constitutes as a “tomorrow” item, and I am focused on living one day at a time, then the simple solution to this kind of fear is to remind myself to stay in the present, and leave future worries for the future.
And again, as I have written in the past, this process falls under the “Much Easier Said Than Done” category, but at least its a starting point from which I can grow!