Snapping Out of it, or Dealing with Fear
As I contemplate composing this post, it occurs to me that it is fairly miraculous that this is the first that I am truly dealing with this emotion in 134 days of sobriety.
Here is what I discovered: it is much easier to “stay in today” when you are not faced with an upcoming fear. Rather, when an upcoming fear is given a date and time.
For the last several months, I truly have been able to live in each day, and if I had a worry, or stressors, I was able to take a deep breath, remind myself to stay in the day, and appreciate what is going on around me in the moment.
But in the last day or so (actually, now that I think about it, in the last 18 hours or so), a consequence of my addiction has moved from the back burner of my life to the front burner, and I have been unable to get my “mojo” back ever since then.
I am certainly aware this happens to people, both in and out of addiction, all the time. I usually have great words of advice for these people, and in fact have given these pearls out often in the last 4 months. So how to take my own advice?
I guess I need to remind myself of my priorities:
1. Do not pick up a drink or a drug (check!)
2. Pray (double check!!)
3. Go to a meeting (check again)
4. Speak to another alcoholic (4 for 4)
When all this fails and I still can’t get the serenity back? Remind myself that this too shall pass, and keep busy, because dwelling on any issue has gotten me nothing but a headache in the past. Sooner or later, I will gain the perspective I need to gain… as long as I believe that fact alone, I will be alright. Hopefully better posts will follow!