Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear – Mark Twain
Courage is an absolute requirement to get things done in early recovery. The simple admission to yourself that you are an addict is courageous enough, let alone admitting it to family and friends. Joining a 12-step program, admitting your troubles to a group of strangers, accepting help, and, last but certainly not least, changing essentially your whole way of thinking about yourself and your life… all of this requires courage.
Time and the repetition of these courageous acts, day by day, makes the process simpler, and builds self-confidence. So when I am hit with a new act that requires new courage, it throws me back, and my instinct is to believe I can’t handle it, that I don’t have the strength to endure. Last week I wrote of a situation that would, in my past addictive behaviors, have caused me great trouble. And while I worried, and prayed, that it would turn out okay, I forgot that I have developed courage over these last 88 days… and I made it through the situation successfully, and feel stronger and more self-confident for having done it.
So today, as I faced a new obstacle, my first instinct was to run, to hide behind my recovery… “I don’t need this stress, it is bad for me” mentality. But I was not taking into account the confidence I have gained from all my courageous decisions of the past 88 days. I forgot that I am stronger than I ever imagined possible.
So I will resist my fear, and I will face my obstacle with all the dignity and courage I can muster, and I do believe I will be stronger for it. Stay tuned…